Navigating Mental Health During Election Season

Yesterday, a family member sent me another forwarded message about election fraud being coordinated through compromised voting machines. As someone who works in cybersecurity, I knew immediately it wasn't true - the technical claims were nonsensical. But how do you tell your own family they’ve been deceived without damaging your relationship?

There is only so many times you can point out a website or Facebook page is satirical, misinformation, AI generated, or just otherwise fake, before your relationship just really degrades.

We're living through a unique moment in history where those of us in cybersecurity and tech have a front-row seat to how misinformation campaigns actually work. We see the infrastructure, recognize the patterns, and understand the mechanisms of viral distribution. But that knowledge comes with a heavy psychological burden - especially during election season.

It's one thing to deal with phishing attempts and security breaches at work. It's another entirely when you watch people you care about fall for sophisticated influence campaigns in real-time. The mental toll of living in what feels like a different reality from your friends and family is rarely discussed in our industry, but it's becoming a critical mental health issue.

Here's what makes this particularly challenging for those of us in tech:

1. The Knowledge Gap

We understand how easy it is to create deepfakes, manipulate metadata, or spin up thousands of bot accounts. But trying to explain these concepts to non-technical loved ones often feels like speaking a different language.

We often also have a much higher media literacy to understand when things are AI, satire, or otherwise engagement farming. Just by nature of being raised around the Internet. Not saying we’re invincible, but I can’t believe some of the stuff I see spread around Facebook.

2. The Trust Paradox

The very technical knowledge that helps us identify misinformation can make us seem less credible to those who've been convinced that "tech experts" are part of some grand conspiracy. The more you know, the less they trust you.

Ask me one day if you want to see all of the people who show up in my comments who tell me I must’ve hacked them, are spying on them, or that I’m part of some government conspiracy.

3. The Emotional Toll

Watching people you care about become increasingly isolated in information bubbles takes a real psychological toll. It's not just frustrating - it's heartbreaking.

I’ve lived places where I feel like everyone I interact with is actually in a completely different reality than me. So much so, I began to question myself.

So how do we maintain our mental health while navigating this complex landscape?

Set Clear Boundaries

It's okay to declare certain topics off-limits, especially during family gatherings or social events. You don't have to engage with every piece of misinformation you encounter.

This is a controversial opinion, I know. Many chronically online people will respond with, “No, it is your responsibility to confront your grandma if she’s racist.” - I’m here to tell you that if you’re mental health is struggling here, it is absolutely not your responsibility. We do what we can, when we can. And despite what you are hearing, that IS enough.

If you have an otherwise good relationship with people, and politics is somewhere where you disagree, no matter what anyone says - you are absolutely allowed to set a boundary that those topics are off limits and continue the relationship.

HOWEVER - if you’re relationship is otherwise toxic anyway, this is your reminder that you do not have to keep people in your life simply because they are family or have been there for a long time. It’s ok to let go.

Practice Digital Empathy

Remember that people sharing misinformation usually aren't doing it maliciously. Understanding the psychological mechanisms that make disinformation effective can help you feel less frustrated with those who fall for it.

We all fall for things that match our world view. Check out Hank Green talking about lies that he’s fallen for on the Internet.

This has taken some serious work for me. Being a native New Yorker, my first reflex is to yell and honk my horn in traffic. I had to come a long way to “assume the best” in people. They’re on their own journey. Their story is not your story.

Create Safety Valves

Find other tech professionals who understand what you're going through. Having a space to vent and share experiences with people who "get it" is crucial for maintaining perspective.

Please for the love build your community up. If you’re feeling isolated, this is the best thing you can do. I’ve written about the loneliness epidemic, and political extremism is forcing us further into our bubbles. Especially if you live in a part of the country that otherwise doesn’t align with your views.

Focus on Connection Over Correction

Instead of trying to debunk every false claim, focus on maintaining relationships. Sometimes preserving the connection is more important than winning the argument.

Some practical strategies I've found helpful:

1. The "Tell Me More" Approach

Instead of immediately correcting misinformation, ask questions. "That's interesting - where did you learn about that?" Often, getting people to examine their sources is more effective than direct confrontation.

I’ve straight asked for sources on claims in conversation, not in a disprove attitude, but in an inquisitive one. I’m currently batting 1.000 on the source not existing or being incorrect. This can help avoid an argument.

2. Establish Your Lane

When family members share technical misinformation, I'll sometimes say, "As someone who works with these systems daily, I can explain how they actually work if you're interested." Then wait. Only share if they actually want to know.

Careful here. This isn’t for all audiences.

3. Create Mental Space

Build regular breaks into your schedule during election season. Turn off notifications. Go for walks. Your brain needs time to decompress from both work stress and the ambient anxiety of our divided information landscape.

I’d say avoid all together if you’re feeling unwell, but that is virtually impossible. So I highly recommend just throwing your phone in a drawer and going about your life from time to time. “Touch grass” as they say.

4. Find Your Tribe

Connect with other tech professionals dealing with similar situations. Whether it's through professional networks or informal Discord channels, having a community that understands your specific struggles is invaluable.

Remember: You're not responsible for fixing the world's misinformation problem. Your primary responsibility is to maintain your own mental health and professional effectiveness.

We're often caught in the middle, seeing both the mechanisms of manipulation and their effects on people we care about.

A Strategy for Sanity

I've started using what I call the "Three-Circle Framework" to maintain my mental health during these times:

Inner Circle: Things I can directly control

• My own information consumption

• My professional work quality

• How I respond to misinformation

• My boundaries with others

Middle Circle: Things I can influence

• My team's security practices

• Educational conversations with receptive friends/family

• Support for colleagues facing similar struggles

Outer Circle: Things I must accept

• Others' media choices

• The existence of misinformation campaigns

• Different political views among loved ones

This framework helps me focus my energy where it can actually make a difference, rather than burning out trying to fix everything.

Professional Implications

The stress doesn't just stay at home - it affects our work too. When you're mentally exhausted from navigating family discussions about election security, it's harder to stay sharp when analyzing actual threats. Some ways to manage this:

1. Create Clear Work/Home Boundaries Don't let election discussions bleed into your security work. Set specific times for checking news and engaging in political discussions.

2. Channel Your Frustration Productively Use your understanding of misinformation tactics to improve your organization's security awareness training. Your insights are valuable.

3. Practice Radical Acceptance Accept that some people in your life will believe things that contradict your professional knowledge. It's not a personal failure on your part.

Looking Forward

Remember that you're not alone in feeling this cognitive dissonance. Many of us are straddling these different realities, trying to maintain both professional integrity and personal relationships.

Some final thoughts:

• Your technical knowledge is an asset, not a burden

• It's okay to step back from exhausting discussions

• Your mental health matters more than winning arguments

• Finding community with others who understand is crucial

How are you handling the intersection of professional knowledge and personal relationships during this election season? What strategies have you found helpful? Share your experiences - we're all figuring this out together.

Stay secure, stay sane, and remember to breathe.